BEING SELF DISCIPLINED MADE SIMPLE: 10 TIPS

To achieve progress, the biggest struggle is within us. That is why we need self-discipline. If we are on diet or aiming for weight loss or aiming for good future, whatever the goal is, there will be some days we need a pat on the back for us to head towards our goal. Family or friends cannot motivate you at every point of time; you should give encouragement to you. Motivation can give us temporary encouragement, but self-discipline can pave the way for our goal.

These are the 10 tips to become self-disciplined:

1. You need a strong motive: What do you want to achieve? Why you actually started this? Your goal should drive you till you achieve that. Make a strong motivation for your goal. List out what you get by achieving that goal. Strong your goal, less you needs discipline.

2. Write it on a paper: Write your goals, the halt points and the ways to achieve goal etc on a paper. Here digital devices like digital memos, dairies are not going to work. Go back to the old school. Write down on a paper what you feel about. If possible design a tracker.

3. Know your breakpoint: You are the only person who knows your breakpoint. For instance, you are planning to digitally detox, but you have a favourite channel which uploads every weekend, you are not able to hold yourself when it is weekend, that will be your breakpoint. So you need to create a work for yourself at that time if you have a strong goal for a digital detox.

4. Set the execution plan and a clear goal: If your goal is weight loss, set a perfect execution plan and the main thing is set a clear goal. Your goal should not be like “ I should lose some weight”. It should be “I need to lose 10 kgs in 3 months”. Your goal should be as clear as this statement.

5. Create habits that match your goal:

“We first make our habits, and then habits make us”- Anonymous

Habits can make our lifestyle. If your habits are matching your goal then doubtlessly you need to change your habits.  For instance, if you are trying to crack a competitive exam, and your hobby is to hang out with friends, you cannot achieve your goal. Change your habits that are becoming obstacles for your goal.

6. Keep it simple step by step:

Discipline, the word itself gives a harsh feeling. Self-discipline means love you are showering yourself for better you. You need to take step by step to reach your goal. Make it simple, one at a time.

7. Change your perception about willpower: You think you are weak at times, don’t underestimate your will power. It can do miracles. Yes, you have breakpoints, but you can overcome your breakpoint. Believe in yourself. Many self-help books, videos are available for instant encouragement.

8. Have a backup plan:

Having a backup plan makes your journey smooth. There will be times you become helpless to change the situation. Backup plans will help you every time.

9. Forgive yourself for mistakes: If you can’t forgive your mistakes, then who will? Be gentle with yourself. Mistakes happen, accept it and move on.

10. Reward yourself:

Only the achiever can understand how difficult to cross that step. Whenever you feel you achieved something in your process reward yourself with a small shopping or a dinner date or anything you feel happy.

Your aim must be designing a great self, but not to suppress your temptations for a certain period of time and do as you wish after achieving your goal. Self-discipline is practice. So what are the changes you are going to make today?

Happy living!!!

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BEGINNER'S GUIDE:HOW TO STAY ORGANIZED AT HOME

Life is so hectic these days. It results in a messy home, messy office desk and messy lifestyle. Organising the things is not only for keeping the surroundings clean, organised home gives a pleasant feel than a messy house. And it saves you time too. Here are some tips to stay organised:

1. Give everything a home: Whatever the size of your home, give every item a place to reside. Don't let them leave their home. Place them in its home after usage. The top way to get organized is to place them in its place.
2. Use partitions, storage boxes, cabinets at best: If you cannot find a place to accommodate things in your cabinet use S hooks for vertical accommodation. to be more organized use storage boxes and differentiate the items.
3. Don't leave the room empty-handed: When you are leaving your living room or bedroom, scan for the items you can carry to another room or to the trash. 
4. 1-minute rule: If any chore takes less than 1 minute do it right now. If you are in the kitchen, while the curry gets cooked, clean your kitchen table or do the dishes. Use your waiting time wisely.
5. Get rid of things you never use: There will be many things our home we never saw it for years together. Take a weekend sort out your unused unnecessary things. 
6. Encourage your family members to be organized: Give specific instructions to kids or husband to place the items in their place after use. Involve them in your monthly cleaning.
7. Use a notebook or sticky notes: You are not a computer to remember everything. Especially in your hectic schedule, you may forget the todo list. Make a habit to use sticky notes and you can use it wherever you want to remind you. 
8. Kitchen: Kitchen is the place where you need to be more organised. Kitchen station should be clean. During cooking itself you need to clear the station. Wherever you are working, keep the station clear. It can improve your productivity too.
9. Plan: If you are organizing a get-together or a party, be prepared with the list and a backup plan too. 
10. Remember one in one out rule: If you are buying anything, check whether you can give place in your home or not. Practice a rule one in & one out. If you are buying something then you need to take away any other item from your house. You can recycle or donate. It can create space in your home. 

Finally, I recommend having a cleaning routine. this will reduce your cleaning time monthly and forces you to be organized every minute.

Happy reading!!

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Situations encountered by only child to parents

I wanted to write about this long back. As I am only child to my parents; I know how it would be. Let me brief you some points about being the only child.

1.     Questions from outsiders:

I don’t know why they ask such stupid questions. As if all the single children are breaded in zoo.

“Aren't you bored all the day?” 

Of course not!! Why should we? We are in our house/room with parents, not in jail. I wonder whether the homes with multiple kids were ever bored.

“Ask your parents to give you a sibling”

This is the most stupid statement given by our neighbouring aunties gave us. For your information, they are not chocolates!!
That decision belongs to my parents.

“You must be enjoying your father's hereditary”

By the way, who’s hereditary that you were enjoying?

2.     No competitions all ours parents love:

Yes!! I can proudly say that my parents love is not shared. You think I am selfish? Let it be.

Remember last time when you became jealous when your parents asked you to share your chocolates with your sibling.

3.     Broad mind towards cousins and friends:

We open our arms wide for all our cousins and friends. We don’t limit our brotherly/sisterly love to one or two persons. See how broad minded we are!!

4.     Becomes extrovert or introvert/more straight forward:

Being single child, we talk extremely less or more not in between. And we talk straight. Less drama everywhere!!!!

5.     Cultivates proper hobby:

Don’t know whether a kid with siblings depends on hobby or not. We depend on hobby completely and deeply.

6.     Slight remorse on Rakshabandhan:

On the day of Rakshabandhan, our social media would be filled with brother sister pictures, and quotes about their love. Sometimes it makes us sad.

7.     We are creative!!!

We spend more time alone, our imagination will be strong. Fictional play, imaginative friends, alternate universe, we had done it!!

8.     Everything is new:

Did you experience using your brother’s or sister’s clothes, books, cycle? Hahaha.. We will get brand new ones every time.

9.     No issues of privacy:

We don’t share our room with our siblings, so no issues of privacy. My life!! My rules!!

10. Parents become best friends:

As we are only child, our parents focus will be on us. We talk anything and everything with them. They become our first advisors and best friends.

There may be many benefits of having siblings. But being only child makes us more independent, self sufficient and ever loving child.

Decision

Her decision shook their family. Her in laws,husband even her parents were shocked to hear this from her.

Sandhya's gaze fixed at her right hand thumb and index finger and rest of all other eyes fixed at her.

"Speak out Sandhya!! Why do you want an abortion?" Said one of the voice.

"This is inhuman. Whats wrong with you?", cried husband.

Because sandhya wanted an abortion of her 3months pregnency and she is a mother of 3 year old baby.

"Your son needs a brother or sister.", Mother in law said pleasingly.

"Look dear, you have a beautiful family, let the family photo be completed", mother said sitting beside her.

"I want abortion. I cant bear this child",sandhya spoke for the second time.

"Dont be so stubborn!! Tell me the reason", husband voice becoming louder.

"Once I saw this pregnency, delivery, taking care of baby, ufff!!! I'm exhausted! I can't bear this again." said sandhya, trying to be calm.

" Are you a mother? How can you talk like that?", Her mother in law disgustingly.

"Yes! I'm not a mother. I'm a devil. Do you think I hate my children, or a life  breathing in my body? No", her voice became more clear, and louder,"I faced depression in these years, no one ever helped me,even you!!" Pointing at her husband.
"Initially I was happy be coming a mother. But gradually I lost myself",her eyes were talking more louder than her lips.

"I faced post patrum depression. You say it's normal for every new mother, you think moms will be habituated?? It's hell to them. No proper sleep, food, even we for no time for bathroom."

"Severe blood loss, rapid weight gain made me physically weak.Just because I love my baby I sacrificed all these. But I am not habituated.", she paused for a moment.

"Taking care of toddler is not an easy process. No one can help me. No one can do what I do. During this time I lost myself. I didn't wear a minimum sensible dress in these years, because of the fear of getting spoiled by pee or poop or milk or baby food. You guys saw baby's cuddles and kisses, but I also saw baby's traumas, irritations.

I comb my hair for every 2 days. Baby's sleep timings didn't match with mine so I got dark circles around my eyes. I couldn't reduce my weight. I used to have 3-4 breaks during lunch/dinner. Sometimes I didnt want to eat after cleaning a diaper. I didn't go outside for many months not even a movie or dinner. When ever I go, my hand bag is replaced with diaper bag, baby food, milk bottles."

"I am not happy with killing a life. But I did vote for me this time. Yes I'm selfish!! Couldn't fulfill all your dreams.I want some peace now.

"Handling the tantrums thrown by toddler, is like walking on eggshells. I lost my me-time. I don't have any recreation other than spending time with child. Only time I has is 10 minutes in restroom."

It doesn't mean I don't love my child. I handled it patiently once. I don't want it again. My body cannot resist all this stress again. I love my kid, but I can't love motherhood again"

Leaving others speech less,Sandhya left the room.
She made a decision!!

For the first time...

1.10am Operation theatre

“Its a girl”, said my Pinni(Aunty)

“Where’s the baby”, I asked her in sleepy tone as I was under Anesthesia, on a strecher from operation theatre to my ward.

“Baby is taken to the doctor,for some initial vaccines and checkup, she will come soon”, pinni said in a happy tone.

1.50am In my ward

Can hear some voices, after couple of minutes I could recognize those are voices of amma(mom),pinni and my sister. But not my baby's cry. I asked them where is my child,they replied baby will be here by morning. I wanted to ask why but dizziness and anesthesia took over.I slept.

7.30am Still on my bed,listening few more voices(recognised they are my inlaws)

I opened my eyes forcefully, called “ amma, where is baby?”, she replied baby will be in incubator for 2 days, my dad is there with baby, and not to worry about anything. I smiled at my in-laws, said I'm fine. I slept.

8.30 am Few sound waves stuck to my ears

Somebody sitting beside me making phone calls to convey the message that they are blessed with a grand daughter, but she is bluebaby. Due to weakness and tranquilizers I could hear, but couldnt respond. Suddenly I listend to these words, I brushed off the dizziness for few minutes called my mom asked about baby.She said “Baby got brucies in the womb, due to lack of place. She will be fine, they are only birth marks which will be vanished with in few days. As she is in incubator,there absolutly nothing to worry about baby”. I repetatedly asked( rather use the word interrogated) mom,dad,pinni and sister. They all said baby is fine.

But at the moment I heard my baby was blue baby, I chanted name of God infinite number of times, new mother in me cried like hell. Thank God no one noticed my tears!!

After 4 days, 10.15am I sat up on my bed, waiting for my baby to come from incubator to my ward.

Those are the longest 10 minutes in my life. When my mother in law brought baby inside the room, I couldn't express joy without tears. I cried out of joy when I took her in hands. Those time little feet, tiny nose, her sleepy eyes, as soon as I took her in my hands she slowly opened her eyes, saw me and soon fallen asleep. I Thanked God million number of times.

I wondered how this tiny little creature was in my womb for 9 months. I felt proud, happy, grateful at the same time. It was priceless.

I never know how my mother felt when I was born, but now my love for her,  became double for what she bore for me.