For the first time...

1.10am Operation theatre

“Its a girl”, said my Pinni(Aunty)

“Where’s the baby”, I asked her in sleepy tone as I was under Anesthesia, on a strecher from operation theatre to my ward.

“Baby is taken to the doctor,for some initial vaccines and checkup, she will come soon”, pinni said in a happy tone.

1.50am In my ward

Can hear some voices, after couple of minutes I could recognize those are voices of amma(mom),pinni and my sister. But not my baby's cry. I asked them where is my child,they replied baby will be here by morning. I wanted to ask why but dizziness and anesthesia took over.I slept.

7.30am Still on my bed,listening few more voices(recognised they are my inlaws)

I opened my eyes forcefully, called “ amma, where is baby?”, she replied baby will be in incubator for 2 days, my dad is there with baby, and not to worry about anything. I smiled at my in-laws, said I'm fine. I slept.

8.30 am Few sound waves stuck to my ears

Somebody sitting beside me making phone calls to convey the message that they are blessed with a grand daughter, but she is bluebaby. Due to weakness and tranquilizers I could hear, but couldnt respond. Suddenly I listend to these words, I brushed off the dizziness for few minutes called my mom asked about baby.She said “Baby got brucies in the womb, due to lack of place. She will be fine, they are only birth marks which will be vanished with in few days. As she is in incubator,there absolutly nothing to worry about baby”. I repetatedly asked( rather use the word interrogated) mom,dad,pinni and sister. They all said baby is fine.

But at the moment I heard my baby was blue baby, I chanted name of God infinite number of times, new mother in me cried like hell. Thank God no one noticed my tears!!

After 4 days, 10.15am I sat up on my bed, waiting for my baby to come from incubator to my ward.

Those are the longest 10 minutes in my life. When my mother in law brought baby inside the room, I couldn't express joy without tears. I cried out of joy when I took her in hands. Those time little feet, tiny nose, her sleepy eyes, as soon as I took her in my hands she slowly opened her eyes, saw me and soon fallen asleep. I Thanked God million number of times.

I wondered how this tiny little creature was in my womb for 9 months. I felt proud, happy, grateful at the same time. It was priceless.

I never know how my mother felt when I was born, but now my love for her,  became double for what she bore for me.