Decision

Her decision shook their family. Her in laws,husband even her parents were shocked to hear this from her.

Sandhya's gaze fixed at her right hand thumb and index finger and rest of all other eyes fixed at her.

"Speak out Sandhya!! Why do you want an abortion?" Said one of the voice.

"This is inhuman. Whats wrong with you?", cried husband.

Because sandhya wanted an abortion of her 3months pregnency and she is a mother of 3 year old baby.

"Your son needs a brother or sister.", Mother in law said pleasingly.

"Look dear, you have a beautiful family, let the family photo be completed", mother said sitting beside her.

"I want abortion. I cant bear this child",sandhya spoke for the second time.

"Dont be so stubborn!! Tell me the reason", husband voice becoming louder.

"Once I saw this pregnency, delivery, taking care of baby, ufff!!! I'm exhausted! I can't bear this again." said sandhya, trying to be calm.

" Are you a mother? How can you talk like that?", Her mother in law disgustingly.

"Yes! I'm not a mother. I'm a devil. Do you think I hate my children, or a life  breathing in my body? No", her voice became more clear, and louder,"I faced depression in these years, no one ever helped me,even you!!" Pointing at her husband.
"Initially I was happy be coming a mother. But gradually I lost myself",her eyes were talking more louder than her lips.

"I faced post patrum depression. You say it's normal for every new mother, you think moms will be habituated?? It's hell to them. No proper sleep, food, even we for no time for bathroom."

"Severe blood loss, rapid weight gain made me physically weak.Just because I love my baby I sacrificed all these. But I am not habituated.", she paused for a moment.

"Taking care of toddler is not an easy process. No one can help me. No one can do what I do. During this time I lost myself. I didn't wear a minimum sensible dress in these years, because of the fear of getting spoiled by pee or poop or milk or baby food. You guys saw baby's cuddles and kisses, but I also saw baby's traumas, irritations.

I comb my hair for every 2 days. Baby's sleep timings didn't match with mine so I got dark circles around my eyes. I couldn't reduce my weight. I used to have 3-4 breaks during lunch/dinner. Sometimes I didnt want to eat after cleaning a diaper. I didn't go outside for many months not even a movie or dinner. When ever I go, my hand bag is replaced with diaper bag, baby food, milk bottles."

"I am not happy with killing a life. But I did vote for me this time. Yes I'm selfish!! Couldn't fulfill all your dreams.I want some peace now.

"Handling the tantrums thrown by toddler, is like walking on eggshells. I lost my me-time. I don't have any recreation other than spending time with child. Only time I has is 10 minutes in restroom."

It doesn't mean I don't love my child. I handled it patiently once. I don't want it again. My body cannot resist all this stress again. I love my kid, but I can't love motherhood again"

Leaving others speech less,Sandhya left the room.
She made a decision!!